Parents

Nothing shapes a child’s life like a parent.

I believe it is the greatest challenge any father and mother will face and it is a huge privilege. It is not a 100 metre race but rather a marathon. In this marathon you will face uphills and aches and cramps and pains and the will to finish strong and cross the finishing line will be tested.

It is a race that you have volunteered for and you have an obligation to finish it well.

How you feature in this race will depend on how you were brought up and the moral issues taught by your parents good and bad through their lifestyles. If you have had a rough upbringing my heart goes to you and everything you had to endure. I wish i could say sorry to you on their behalf.

The way i dealt with my parents was to look at their upbringing and what they had to endure. It brought me to a place of compassion and forgiveness and a deep love for them and reconciliation.

The wrongs done to me brought alot of tears and resentment but when i got understanding of their backrounds and how they suffered it changed my life and i truelly forgave and forgot.

Even now at times they say things to me that is unnecessarry and wrong but i keep my peace and cleave to God and my wife. I dont disrespect them and understand that it is now my turn to be a parent. Parents need to understand completely their roles and responsibilities and fulfill them completely. This is done only through God and learning from your mistakes and humbling yourself.

Sometimes parents or your children’s grandparents can still be a source of pain and manipulation and even though they mean well they need to also understand that their roles have changed to spoil yout kids and support us the parents through prayer and encouragement or as much as they can.

Usually when our parents hurt us as parents or let us down we still at the place of looking for their approval or direction instead of God.

What you find quite alot is that the parents of daughters especially the last one in the house tend to hold on for as long as they can and im sad to say that there is emotionally manipulation involved.

This type of relationship can never move forward until there is a realization that their children are now adults and parents and that they now need to fulfill supporting roles and granny and grandad roles.

But now i am a parent and the model before me the model that i have seen through my life is from my parents.

At times i find myself doing what my dad did to me and it hurts me when i see myself doing it. It humbles me and brings me to my knees to repent and learn from the word of God and to keep myself fresh with fathering books and parenting books.

But what keeps me in the race is not my strength but God’s strength through His grace and mercy in my life. What keeps me ahead of the pack is His Fathering in me, His presence and confidence in me and that lets me know that i can be a father that is goldy even though im going to make mistakes and get it wrong.

But praise God i have the character to say i am sorry and to keep moving forward and to trust God and that my sons will be whole and strong and God fearing. I will teach them through my life how to love God and love his spouse above himself.

My wife has been such an example to me of what a true parent consists off and have shown me the responsibility that is needed to bring up wonderful children. This amazes me because her parents also did not show the direction or guide her or instruct her but through Father God’s sovereignty and plans for her life He send her to study grade one teaching for three years and in those three years she spent alot of time with her sister’s children and it has taught her alot.

Her hunger to read and learn about every area of her life has challenged me to do the same and become that vessel that God can use for any challenge or situation.

In this race she is miles ahead of me but i am slowly catching up. 

However there is a parent that is perfect and his name is Abba Father and through Him there is wonderful unconditional love where all records of wrongs can be forgotten and broken vessels can be made whole and parents can be forgiven, healed and become true parents through His guidance and that helps me run strong.

Children are a heritage a blessing a reward from God, love them, hug them give them boundaries and they will what God intended them to be.

SO SIMPLE

Last night being saturday i decided to worship God once the family was in bed. For two solid hours i had an amazing time with God worshipping with the new Matt redman cd called facedown. I was using my new laptop given to me by my insurance -my old one’s hard drive melted away- and playing the songs on itunes with earphones on my head. Had you been here last night you would of heard the dogs howling!

Once i had finished with matt redman i started to listen to lakeview worship, not lakewood, and i just listened and rocked with them and God really touched my heart. I was really enjoying myself and just delighting myself in God.

What made last night so special for me was that it had been a long while since i had drawn so close to God and been with him without restraint. As a young father and husband you really want to be the example and provide and protect and lead through serving that you forget about yourself and your growth with God. It is so easy to get caught up in the things to do and get stuck being very busy with things all over the place.

For the last couple of weeks i have know that my priorities werent in order and that had really played on my mind.

When i speak of priorities i speak of setting aside time with God alone everyday and giving my wife attention or spending time with her without our two boys.

I am of the opinion that you must dedicate time to God everyday either in studying the word, praying or worshipping Him because the impact on my life from God far outweighs the time spent with him on the way to work or appointments. What i am trusting Him for requires being changed in His Holy of Holies.

My wife and I really have missed each other and we cant remember when last we have had a date night. We have decided to start doing small things for each other again that will make each other feel special and appreciated. Once in Bloemfontein we will have a night set aside that we can go out and be together. I cant wait!

Worshipping God in my life makes me strong. It fuels me with passion and vision and determination. I have really missed worshipping God by myself. I cant wait to hit my straps with God again and instead of shuffeling sand on the surface to rather dig for gold deep down and find His treasures for my life and my family and others.

Life is so simple Love God first love your family second and then everything else. How come we make it so complex?

If you have an answer to my question please let me know!

Matthew

On Board

As a family we find ourselves in a season of transition. We are moving to Bloemfontein and within a month, hopefully, we will be there.

However never before have we experienced such a time of testing. From family to finances to flat tyres to finding a place to rent to children getting hurt has shown us that we are in a time of severe testing and peseverence.

I am reminded of two things when i currently look upon our situation.

1) In the old testament when one king would hand over rulership to another king in Israel it was a time of celebration but also of vulnerability as Israel enemies always chose this time to attack them. What was supposed to be a season of excitment and anticipation turned to fear and anxiety. This was a common feature throughout the history of Israel.

I think that is why God constantly reassured Israel hat He would never leave or forsake them if they kept His ways and follow Him wholeheartedly. 

As the old testament showed, Israel turned away from God to foreign idols and they were scattered. Sometimes we think we can do what we like, what seems right in our own minds, be when we enter into that mindset we have already stepped over protective boundaries that would keep us in love and grace.

When we read scripture carefully we will see that Righteousness, Grace, Salvation, Freedom, Unconditionally Love has been freely given to us without any works without any “if” or “but”.

We do however find that the blessing of God comes only through obedience.

Obedience of Faith, Obedience of implementing the Word of God, Obedience to our conscience. The blessing of God only comes through Obedience.

Let us be careful to do what God has called us to do in all humbleness and gentleness.

2) I am also reminded of Joshua. He was a disciple of Moses but totally different to him. He was a Military leader and God used him to lead Israel into the promised land.

During difficult times you need a determined and disciplined approach. You also have to lead in a different way.

Joshua lead strongly throughout the taking of the promised land without any compromise and disobedience.

When the inheritance of land was handed out Joshua received his portion last such was his devotion unto God.

It is only through intimacy with God and love for Himthat you develop the character of God and do what he was able to do.

When one face transitions in your life and there are different forms and different kinds that we face such as moving to another city or death of a loved one or a personal character struggles that you need to overcome or being fired or hired for a job it all points to the same objective.

Transitions are there in your life to go from where you are now to the place God has for you whether it is physically or emotionally or spiritually. We have to cross over, why?

Two reasons:

1) God is more concerned with your progress and trust in Him than with your destination.

2) Blessing and promise awaits those who cross over.

So the question remains are you going to climb on board and persevere through faith and hang onto God or are you going to miss your call to embark.

Let me end as Joshua ended ” As for me and my house we will serve the Lord” even if it means my flesh is being circumcised continually for His glory.

Praise God for His grace and peace. I need it so much

Sitting next to the fire

It is time for people to sit around the same fire and unite. Our country has for the last couple of decades had some racial issues that brings a nation to violence. I grew up with apartheid and in highschool integration started and at first it was weird and we kept our distance from the new kids.

They would sit there and we would sit here. Then it was time for sport and sport brought unity and clarification and trust.

Why do we keep having to have issues with the colour of skin?

The word of God declares that we are all equal before Him and that all tribes and tongues and nations will worship Him before His throne!

Because of our past as a nation the eyes of the world are upon us and will be for the next decades! We are fighting a spirit of racialism in this country and the rest of the world are trying to see how things are going to end up as they too have racism issues but it is kept underwrap.

We are setting the precedent even though things have gone from one pendulem to the other at the moment.

But the good news is that God is in control and this is His land. It is through the tragedies, the fear, the uncertainties, the crime, the brokeness, the racism issues that He works best and He will still bring this country to the place He wants it no matter what it takes. Just asked the the israel generation that lived and died for 40 years in the desert.

Let us change our mindsets our differences and let us sit next to the same fire and build a great nation.

When i played professional cricket many times i was told by my coach that they had to play 4 black players and i could therefore not play. Had God not been my hope and strength i would of emigrated and hated this country and everybody that was black.

Let me end of with a scene from jerry macquire between tom cruise and cuba gooding jr: I LOVE BLACK PEOPLE! 

And to add to that i love all people, make the right choice!